Determining The Condition Of My Heart
Yahya Abdul Rahman- January 30, 2007
The first place for me to look if want to discern the condition of my heart is to scrutinize my actions. If my actions are those which are displeasing to my Creator then I know that my heart is sick and is in need of correcting. On the other hand, if my actions are pleasing to Allah, then I know that this is a good sign my heart is indeed healthy.
But there is more to determining the condition of my heart than just paying close attention to my actions. There are, in addition, my motivations ("niyah" in Arabic) which also need to be brought into consideration. If my motivations are impure then my actions- even if on the surface they are completely wholesome- also become impure. I may perform an act of charity, utter a kind word, or some other act of worship- which may be totally praiseworthy in the sight of others - but I may be doing all of these things with a view to getting praise or recognition from others or to show-off how spiritual or religious I am. Thus the action- despite its outward purity- becomes impure.
In addition, my motivations may be completely pure and praiseworthy but the actions may be forbidden. For example, I may want to give in charity to help those in need but then proceed to collect funds from forbidden sources or utilize forbidden methods. Thus the actions and the motivations behind those actions both become impure, for the pure and impure cannot co-exist.
Finally, another way to determine the condition of my heart is to monitor my feeling towards that which is pleasing in the sight of Allah as opposed to that which is displeasing. Do I have a secret love and yearning for that which displeases Allah despite all outward indications to the contrary? Do I gravitate to those things which have been explicitly forbidden and expend a lot of energy to obtain them? Or do I love those things which are loved by Allah and spend my energy- whether it be intellectual, spiritual or physical- in such a way that those things become the central focus of my life? Do I, in fact, hold a deep hatred for that which is forbidden and, on the other hand, possess a deep love for what Allah loves and has made permissible.? Do I make the appropriate effort to steer clear from that which displeases Allah and foster an inward sense of satisfaction with what Allah has made permissible?
The question is how do I obtain knowledge of that which is permissible and pleasing to Allah as opposed to that which is impermissible and displeasing to Allah? At one level I can intuitively know the answer to that question as Allah has placed inside of me a sense of right and wrong. But at another level this is insufficient as the ability to differentiate between right and wrong has over time been corrupted within me and is no longer an entirely reliable source. I can be overcome by my passions and even proceed to delude myself into believing that even my sinful actions are in fact permissible! This is why there is a need for revelation to steer me back in the right direction. I can look into Allah's holy book and the utterances of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and know with certainty what Allah requires of me. In fact, there has been nothing left out and all I need to know can be found there. The Quran acts like a light into my heart and exposes that which is errant within me and puts me back on the right path.
The Quran is like a reminder of that which I have forgotten intuitively. (see Quran Chapters 38:37; 38:39; 21:50 and 6:155) When I look into its pages I am once again reminded of what is required of me and I modify my actions and attitudes accordingly. When I do this, to the best of my ability, there is a deep sense of satisfaction that overcomes me and I experience a sense of inward peace. The more I am mindful of Allah and remember Him in all that I do, the more at peace my life will be. On the other hand, the more I am disobedient to Allah, the more sense of unease and restlessness resides within me. The words of Allah confirm this in the following Quranic verse:
"Those who believe, and whose hearts find comfort in the remembrance of Allah! Aye! it is in the remembrance of Allah that hearts can find comfort. (Quran: Surat al-R'ad, 28)
Oh Allah, help me to remember You and to do that which is pleasing to You. Please make me satisfied with the Halal (permissible) and fill me with an intense hatred for the Haram (impermissible). I know that when I do this a blissful peace will enter my life and You will be please with me.