Sitting With Grandmother

Shawn Smith- July 18, 2006

My Grandmother and I sit here together in complete stillness through a severe thunderstorm

Although she passed away 42 years ago- just 2 months before my birth- she is most definitely a presence as just outside my window the lighting lights up the sky and the thunder shakes the heavens

The rain comes pouring down, down into the corridors of my mind and placing me in a reflective mood

It was my mother who informed me how my Grandmother instilled fear of thunderstorms in her

While in her presence, no one was allowed to speak or even move during a thunderstorm

All of the lights had to be turned off, all of the windows closed and complete and utter silence had to be maintained

With complete seriousness and earnestness that story was told to me over and over again by my mother until it is now part of who and what I am

My Grandmother had a healthy respect for the weather and its potential destructive forces, and she chose to show that respect by sitting in silence in the dark during a thunderstorm

And here she sits with me tonight- a fruit of her womb-   and that same fear she instilled into my mother has been passed onto me and now rattles my bones

The thunder and lightening will soon subside and a coolness will fill the air, but every time a thunder storm returns so does my Grandmother along with the fear

I never knew my Grandmother , but every time there is a thunderstorm I feel a connection to her and imagine sitting on her loving lap and listening to the beating of her heart as she consoles me in a time of great fear

"Now, now dear, just sit here and be quiet and everything will be ok"