The Fastest Growing Religion

Shawn Smith - June 29, 2006

"Attention shoppers, we would like to congratulate Heather for signing up yet another customer to our Sears card," said the voice over the intercom.

"Customers are reminded that they will receive 10% off their purchases for today only if they sign up for our card," the voice continued.

"Thank you for shopping at Sears and have a great day."

Ka -Ching! Another victory for capitalism

Another convert to The Cause

Another wayward child has walked down the long aisle to the altar of materialism where he finds a smiling cashier

Just as I am, without one plea, I've come to spend my cash on thee
And that Thou bidst me come to Thee, oh mammon I come, I come

"That'll be $19.95 please," as yet another sermon in the cathedral of capitalism broadcasts the joyful news

Another child has come home to find rest and salvation in the bosom of greed and consumerism

Ah, the fastest growing religion indeed and, for today only, it's 10% off the regular price.